things that need editing include.....

POPULAR TOP 100 NOVEL LISTS

For some reason the other day as I was on my stoll through the green fields of the internet, stopping to pick metaphorical daisies, I found this list of the Modern Library's Top 100 Novels. Upon first glance this seems to be a super idea.....because then you know what kind of books are awesome and you might enjoy. However there are some obviously inherent problems with the selections. Being that whoever this "board" is has their priorities way out of whack.

The Board List- First of all, two James Joyce novels in the top 10 indicates a serious problem. Look, we all know he was a misunderstood genius. But mistaking "stylized" novels for "top" novels does no one any favors. No one actually enjoys trying to read James Joyce except people who have brought intellectual masturbation to a new refined level.
Secondly, there are many other books where I do not disagree that they are a great novel, but the ranking was chosen by drunk monkeys. For example:

9= Sons and Lovers by DH Lawrence
93= The Magus by John Fowles

The Magus blows Sons and Lovers out of the water like hillbillies out fishin' with dynamite. DH Lawrence was a pantywaist. You know that's true.

And then! Then! Beside this list of novels is a list of the Top 100 as chosen by readers instead of aforementioned intellectual wankers. This list is good just for its humour value. Because it contains:
3 Ayn Rand novels in the top 10
3 L. Ron Hubbard novels in the top 10
IT by Stephen King
and other such choices that cause one to double over with laughter.

So I started searching the internet to see if there were any Top 100 Novel lists I could get behind.

Here is one created as a "rival" list to the Modern Library's. It is basically the same although it contains Charlotte's Web and Winnie the Pooh and may have had child jurors. Plus the biggest redeeming merit of the first list was that No. 4 was Lolita, and on this list it's been demoted. Boo.

This one is by Time Magazine. At first glance it seems to be a little more hip than others because it contains Ubik by Philip K. Dick and White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Which I can totally get behind. However, it is almost instantly ruined by the fact that it also contains, Are You There God, It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume. Seriously.

This list by the Guardian is a little more international. Also, FINALLY, someone had the sense to include One Hundred Years of Solitude by Marquez. Which is obviously one of the best novels ever. However I feel they've also neglected so many good books in favor of including things like Virgil and Chaucer. The Canterbury Tales weren't even meant to be a book, so much as an oral tradition. Duh.

Anyway. You get the point. I know that everyone has different tastes and so on. But I feel like of all the books that were ever written, the Top 100 list should contain things that almost anyone could read and find enjoyable. Book that are both engaging and thought provoking. Yet light and fruity with an essence of oak. You get me.

So. Anyone up for making a new and improved list? I think I might try it. Suggestions welcome.